Romanian WEDDINGS BETWEEN TRADITION AND MODERN BUSINESS
A mere 1 minute and a half. That is what the ceremony prefacing a life-long marriage will take to complete. Today we’ll give you a vista of modern weddings and how they unfold, such as Romanian young people see and dream about it. Let’s start with the ceremony at the City hall, led by the registry officer:
“Agapi Remus Fanica, do you, of your own free will, marry Jinga Claudia Mihaela?”
“I do.”
“Jinga Claudia Mihaela Do you of your own free will marry Agapi Remus Fanica?”
“I do.”
“I see all the legal conditions for concluding a wedding contract have been fulfilled and I will now read to you what Romanian Family Law provides: the Romanian state defends the lawful marriage and family life. Family is based on the consensual union of spouses. The spouses are equal before the law, both in the relations with each other and in regard of their rights over their children. Parenting rights can only be exercised in the best interests of the children. Family ties are based on mutual friendship and affection among the family’s members who are duty-bound to lend each other mutual moral and financial support. The spouses must be agreed on every aspect of their marriage. Given your willfully expressed consent I hereby declare your husband and wife. Mr Agapi you may now kiss the bride.”
It really is just as simple as that. The complicated things will only start hereafter, because everything costs money. From invitations to the lap flowers, the booking for the marriage ceremony in church and the choir, hiring the cameraman, the dj or the band , the reservation for the restaurant and finding a menu that wouldn’t cost too much because it is usually the guests who pay for what they consume, all that has got to be dealt with as carefully as possible. In most cases, the two families involved have different views on how to organize the whole thing. This is why perhaps it is very much en vogue to hire a catering company to deal with the whole organisation. We asked Carmen Ionita, already a professional in this line of business, about the cost of such a professionally organized wedding: “We have complete packages ranging from 5000 to 50 000 dollars, for 100 people. What we offer is the decoration of the hall, the menu, the limousine, we pay the taxes for wedding service in church. I take the new-weds everywhere and I’m in charge of the whole protocol scenario; I teach the guests how to hold the flowers because the new weds must pass underneath a vault of flowers … there’s some degree of acting directing about the whole thing, so everything will come out perfect; we don’t want any sort of problems and complications.”
It is the godfather who pays for the wedding candles, the bouquets of flowers for the bride and the church fees. The ceremony in church lasts some 30 to 40 minutes and it is usually delivered by at least 2 priests. People say the service should be delivered by as many priests as possible, because the more priests the greater the opening to God’s blessing. In the orthodox church the tradition is that the priest crowns the future spouses with gilded tiaras; next comes the exchange of wedding rings. Burning candles in their hands, the new weds, the god parents and the priests walk around the altar three times. At the end of the ceremony, the new weds are congratulated by the guests. Carmen Ionita will now tell us what happens later on at the restaurant. “The guests are given a champagne reception; the bride and groom and their best maid and man welcome the guests. When the bride and groom enter the ball room, everyone stands up and applauds, they take their seats and here we go, the party is ready to start. The first course is brought in, the cold snacks, followed by a break, and then the dj announces the bride’s waltz. The groom invites the bride to dance and the ball is now officially opened. When they dance they have all the floor to themselves and hundreds of balloons fly around them. Every hour any variety of courses keep coming in: the fish, the minced meat in sauerkraut, the steak and then the cake. A summer menu also includes ice cream. The bride’s cake is usually brought in at 3 in the morning; it is brought in on a huge tray surrounded by fireworks. That is a moment to remember. Then the bride throws back the bouquet. There is this new transatlantic thing that we’ve just imported: the bride takes away one of her garters and throws it to the male guests in attendance. Afterward the godmother takes the bride’s veil and covers her head with a scarf. The veil will be given to the best maid or the girl who grabbed the bouquet - the next most likely bride, as tradition has it. And then the fiddlers start playing Romanian music, folklore music or just the usual stuff that is played at parties, and around 5 in the morning the party draws to a close.
But what will your wedding party look like if you don’t have 5000 dollars. The answer is quite simple as well: it’s either the new weds or their families who will have to take care of every detail. And who knows, sometimes luck comes their way: they may win some promotion competition organized now and then by radio stations or wedding fairs. Alexandra and Cosmin are two of the lucky winners of one such contest: what they won? A wedding party package inclusive of a honey moon trip to the Greek islands. Alexandra will tell us the whole story. “We did want to have a wedding party, but we had no money to do it. So we decided to answer a quiz organized by a private radio station in town. I never really believed I had a chance, but I wrote a letter telling them how I met my husband, about our plans to go to our wedding party in my tiny Volkswagen 500. The editors received some 150 letters, they short-listed 10, took a vote and …we won the contest.”
Because they didn’t want their parents involved in the whole business, Cosmin says they were prepared to go all the length to do it their own way. Their dream was a small party for a private attendance, for parents and best friends alone.
: “The way we saw it at the time, maybe our parents would have been the last to find out about it, and they would only have been invited to attend the party. We had come to think of the cheapest version: find a restaurant where we could hire a room, and bring food and drinks from home, so we would keep some of the money the guests would bring. Winning this competition spared us all the hassle and we were left with the beautiful side of things: looking for the clothes. Alexandra had also won a wedding dress. We also had to buy the rings. Everything was so beautiful. The secret of a successful wedding party is: don’t get your parents involved in the business. The best thing is to have somebody deal with the hassle.”
Just like everywhere in this world, on their wedding, the new spouses receive gifts or money. The tradition in the past was for the god father to cry out the present, of money , certainly, which involved crying out loud just how much each of the guest gave as present. At present, after the cake has been served, the waiters distribute inconspicuous white envelopes where the guests are supposed to put the money for the menu served, and if and where possible, some money for the happy family. A wedding party can turn into a profitable business both for the new weds and the catering company. There are only too few Romanians who can afford a wedding party without gift giving. Stefan, the first of our interviewees, dreams of a large scale wedding party, for 150 guests, at the best restaurant in Bucharest. He wishes to take his bride to church in a chariot with white horses and have white and red roses on all of the tables. For their wedding party, Stefan and Claudia are planning to work abroad for 2 years. Although he will be far from home, Stefan does not want anyone to get involved in his party:
“ I would like to organize the whole thing on my own, because I like to be in charge. I know I’m contemplating a major task, but I really want to take it seriously and I want everything to come out as dreamed. I don’t expect to make a fortune out of the money received as a gift from the guests. I’ll only do that so my friends and my family will be together with me on that very unique day in my life.”
“Agapi Remus Fanica, do you, of your own free will, marry Jinga Claudia Mihaela?”
“I do.”
“Jinga Claudia Mihaela Do you of your own free will marry Agapi Remus Fanica?”
“I do.”
“I see all the legal conditions for concluding a wedding contract have been fulfilled and I will now read to you what Romanian Family Law provides: the Romanian state defends the lawful marriage and family life. Family is based on the consensual union of spouses. The spouses are equal before the law, both in the relations with each other and in regard of their rights over their children. Parenting rights can only be exercised in the best interests of the children. Family ties are based on mutual friendship and affection among the family’s members who are duty-bound to lend each other mutual moral and financial support. The spouses must be agreed on every aspect of their marriage. Given your willfully expressed consent I hereby declare your husband and wife. Mr Agapi you may now kiss the bride.”
It really is just as simple as that. The complicated things will only start hereafter, because everything costs money. From invitations to the lap flowers, the booking for the marriage ceremony in church and the choir, hiring the cameraman, the dj or the band , the reservation for the restaurant and finding a menu that wouldn’t cost too much because it is usually the guests who pay for what they consume, all that has got to be dealt with as carefully as possible. In most cases, the two families involved have different views on how to organize the whole thing. This is why perhaps it is very much en vogue to hire a catering company to deal with the whole organisation. We asked Carmen Ionita, already a professional in this line of business, about the cost of such a professionally organized wedding: “We have complete packages ranging from 5000 to 50 000 dollars, for 100 people. What we offer is the decoration of the hall, the menu, the limousine, we pay the taxes for wedding service in church. I take the new-weds everywhere and I’m in charge of the whole protocol scenario; I teach the guests how to hold the flowers because the new weds must pass underneath a vault of flowers … there’s some degree of acting directing about the whole thing, so everything will come out perfect; we don’t want any sort of problems and complications.”
It is the godfather who pays for the wedding candles, the bouquets of flowers for the bride and the church fees. The ceremony in church lasts some 30 to 40 minutes and it is usually delivered by at least 2 priests. People say the service should be delivered by as many priests as possible, because the more priests the greater the opening to God’s blessing. In the orthodox church the tradition is that the priest crowns the future spouses with gilded tiaras; next comes the exchange of wedding rings. Burning candles in their hands, the new weds, the god parents and the priests walk around the altar three times. At the end of the ceremony, the new weds are congratulated by the guests. Carmen Ionita will now tell us what happens later on at the restaurant. “The guests are given a champagne reception; the bride and groom and their best maid and man welcome the guests. When the bride and groom enter the ball room, everyone stands up and applauds, they take their seats and here we go, the party is ready to start. The first course is brought in, the cold snacks, followed by a break, and then the dj announces the bride’s waltz. The groom invites the bride to dance and the ball is now officially opened. When they dance they have all the floor to themselves and hundreds of balloons fly around them. Every hour any variety of courses keep coming in: the fish, the minced meat in sauerkraut, the steak and then the cake. A summer menu also includes ice cream. The bride’s cake is usually brought in at 3 in the morning; it is brought in on a huge tray surrounded by fireworks. That is a moment to remember. Then the bride throws back the bouquet. There is this new transatlantic thing that we’ve just imported: the bride takes away one of her garters and throws it to the male guests in attendance. Afterward the godmother takes the bride’s veil and covers her head with a scarf. The veil will be given to the best maid or the girl who grabbed the bouquet - the next most likely bride, as tradition has it. And then the fiddlers start playing Romanian music, folklore music or just the usual stuff that is played at parties, and around 5 in the morning the party draws to a close.
But what will your wedding party look like if you don’t have 5000 dollars. The answer is quite simple as well: it’s either the new weds or their families who will have to take care of every detail. And who knows, sometimes luck comes their way: they may win some promotion competition organized now and then by radio stations or wedding fairs. Alexandra and Cosmin are two of the lucky winners of one such contest: what they won? A wedding party package inclusive of a honey moon trip to the Greek islands. Alexandra will tell us the whole story. “We did want to have a wedding party, but we had no money to do it. So we decided to answer a quiz organized by a private radio station in town. I never really believed I had a chance, but I wrote a letter telling them how I met my husband, about our plans to go to our wedding party in my tiny Volkswagen 500. The editors received some 150 letters, they short-listed 10, took a vote and …we won the contest.”
Because they didn’t want their parents involved in the whole business, Cosmin says they were prepared to go all the length to do it their own way. Their dream was a small party for a private attendance, for parents and best friends alone.
: “The way we saw it at the time, maybe our parents would have been the last to find out about it, and they would only have been invited to attend the party. We had come to think of the cheapest version: find a restaurant where we could hire a room, and bring food and drinks from home, so we would keep some of the money the guests would bring. Winning this competition spared us all the hassle and we were left with the beautiful side of things: looking for the clothes. Alexandra had also won a wedding dress. We also had to buy the rings. Everything was so beautiful. The secret of a successful wedding party is: don’t get your parents involved in the business. The best thing is to have somebody deal with the hassle.”
Just like everywhere in this world, on their wedding, the new spouses receive gifts or money. The tradition in the past was for the god father to cry out the present, of money , certainly, which involved crying out loud just how much each of the guest gave as present. At present, after the cake has been served, the waiters distribute inconspicuous white envelopes where the guests are supposed to put the money for the menu served, and if and where possible, some money for the happy family. A wedding party can turn into a profitable business both for the new weds and the catering company. There are only too few Romanians who can afford a wedding party without gift giving. Stefan, the first of our interviewees, dreams of a large scale wedding party, for 150 guests, at the best restaurant in Bucharest. He wishes to take his bride to church in a chariot with white horses and have white and red roses on all of the tables. For their wedding party, Stefan and Claudia are planning to work abroad for 2 years. Although he will be far from home, Stefan does not want anyone to get involved in his party:
“ I would like to organize the whole thing on my own, because I like to be in charge. I know I’m contemplating a major task, but I really want to take it seriously and I want everything to come out as dreamed. I don’t expect to make a fortune out of the money received as a gift from the guests. I’ll only do that so my friends and my family will be together with me on that very unique day in my life.”
posted by Andreea Demirgian at
4:42 AM
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